Patient
by TeamCCoC
Summary: Ash's crush find's him out, and the two have a conversation regarding it. Yaoi/ sort of lime warning!!!


"Patient"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plotline. Don't sue me, I'm broke. Well, not quite, but pocket change is hardly worth the supreme court...  
  
Author's Note: This was a challenge for the CCoC mailing list. I accepted the challenge (Write a relatively believeable Ash/Butch fic) and this is the result. A reviewer said this story was pointless. ....Uhm, yeah, duh... Not everything has to have a point beyond being a somewhat fluffy bit o' fiction, you know. .  
  
All right, on with the story...  
  
  
  
I wasn't even aware of what a crush really felt like until I saw him.  
  
I still don't even know if it was only a crush.  
  
All I know is that, the first time I saw him, leaning against the brick in an alley, taking a drag off a cigarette with his hair falling slightly in his eyes, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him.  
  
It's true. The first time I saw Butch wasn't in the Team Rocket breeding center, but in a nearby alley. He must've just taken a break for caging Pokemon when I'd seen him, or maybe resting from loading Pokemon onto a truck to the Team Rocket headquarters, or maybe just waiting for some unsuspecting kid to walk by and fall victim to his devilishly handsome face, strong figure, intense eyes...  
  
Brock and Misty hadn't noticed either my awestruck expression or the young man standing in the alley, otherwise they might have mentioned something when they saw him in the center later on.  
  
It didn't matter. It's been six years since any of that happened. Any of that... and any of the other things.  
  
Butch had noticed my sidelong glances at him, which I'd carefully tried to hide (something I was never very good at). He'd seen me taking walks at night past places where I knew he would be when he and Cassidy followed us. He saw me looking at him and not doing anything.  
  
Above all, he knew I had developed feelings for him. That was the scariest part of it all. I don't know how he found out, but I've never been one for for subtlety; The occaisions where I'd seen him in busy crowds and done nothing but stare probably aroused suspicion, and the rare times when I'd followed him through noisy streets while Misty was distracted by pretty clothing and Brock was off chasing girls.  
  
Then he started to come find me.  
  
It was when I was 14. I'd been out for a walk (trying to get a glimpse of him again) when he stepped out of the bushes in front of me, causing me to jump in alarm and almost cry out. He pressed two fingers to my mouth, indicating to be quiet, and lead me towards a place where the trees had grown together to form a wooden cave.  
  
I don't know why I followed. Something about him made me want to trust him completely, despite all the warnings that there was something wrong with this whole thing, not just what was going on around me but what was going on within me.  
  
He looked at me as he lit up a cigarette, taking a deep drag off of it. I watched grey ashes fall to the ground, just missing his black boots.  
  
"You've been keeping an eye on me," he said. I nodded, knowing my voice would crack if I tried to use it.  
  
"Why?"  
  
I had to speak, then. "I... I don't know..."  
  
"You've been watching me. You haven't even told an officer."  
  
I nodded again.  
  
Butch gave me a contemplative look, then, half whispering, "You're gay, then. Gay, and you like me."  
  
I looked up in alarm, wanting to tell him I wasn't, trying to think of a reason, praying that he wasn't the type to beat the living hell out of homosexuals. When I made eye contact with him again, though, I froze. "...Yeah."  
  
He gave a lopsided grin, and took another drag off his cigarette, making a noise of indifference.  
  
Then he completely changed the subject.  
  
"What's your name again?"  
  
I blinked in surprise a few times, then remembered that all I've ever been referred to as by Team Rocket was "the brat".  
  
"Uhm... I'm Ash. Ash Ketchum."  
  
"From Pallet Town."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He went on to give me the third degree about me, my life, my friends, my experiences, my thoughts, and he told me some of his own. He had entered Team Rocket as a last ditch effort to stay off the street after his deadbeat parents finally got killed in a drunk car accident. He'd met up with Cassidy later, and convinced her to join after saving her from a nasty situation involving a filthy alley and a group of young men who were up to no good. The two had been good friends ever since.  
  
"Why don't you two hook up?" I asked him.  
  
"Why don't you and Misty?" he responded. As dense as usual, I responded with "Because I'm gay", not realizing the somewhat deeper meaning he'd added on to that.  
  
Not for a good five minutes anyway. I ended up interrupting myself in midsentence with "You mean you're gay too?"  
  
He shrugged a little, lighting up the third cigarette he'd had that night. "I might be. I still think girls are attractive, but... I just feel safer with other guys. I know how their mind works."  
  
"Hnh..." I said, sitting and leaning back against the inside if the tree, thinking over the situation. I was suddenly aware of how small the treecave really was. There wasn't much room between him and me, and now it suddenly seemed a lot smaller.  
  
A sudden light gust of wind blew in on us. I watched the glow on the end of Butch's cigarette get brighter, then suddenly fall from the end in the breeze, falling to land on the back of my hand where it was resting on my knee. My whole body jolted, and I flicked my hand reflexively, trying to shake it off. He knelt down quickly, apologizing, using his lighter to see how badly it was burned. I'd forgotten the pain, trapped in the sight of his face in the light of the small flame and the realization that he was so close to me.  
  
With my uninjured left hand, I reached up and rested it on his cheek. I wasn't even aware I was doing it, but the look of surprise on his face brought me back to reality. I pulled both hands back quickly, and the lighter flicked out. faint light from the moon was the only thing telling me where he was.  
  
"You have a crush on me, don't you." It wasn't a question. It hadn't been a question for a very long time.  
  
"Yes," I whispered. I felt him shift, but I could hardly see him let alone what he was doing. I felt his hand touch my side, and I barely kept from jumping.  
  
It was so strange to be touched by someone else in such a gentle way. I realized how little physical contact I'd had since leaving home, where I had been hugged what seemed like a hundred times a day. At the time, it had been such an annoyance. Until then, I'd forgotten how nice it could be to feel someone else nearby.  
  
I reached out my hand again, and touched his cheek, brushing the backs of my fingers against his skin. I felt him relax, and he moved closer in to me. As he shifted, I moved my hands to his shoulders. His cheek pressed against mine, and he whispered, "Have you ever been close like this to someone before?"  
  
I shook my head slightly, whispering back "No..."  
  
I felt his other hand touch my waist, then move around to my lower back, pulling me a little closer. "How does it feel?"  
  
"It feels... strange..."  
  
"Strange?" he asked, though not put off. "How?"  
  
"I'm not sure... It's warm."  
  
I felt him almost laugh softly, amused by my lack of experience, or maybe touched by my innocence about the whole thing.  
  
I suddenly became aware of something I should have thought of before getting close to him. I could feel my jeans getting tighter, my sexual inclinations starting to get the better of me.  
  
And I could tell Butch knew it, too.  
  
"If you'd like," he said, hesitance hovering around his tone, "I can take this up a level for you."  
  
My breath caught, and a short mental battle ensued between my crotch and logic. I admit it. I wanted it. I wanted it so much it almost hurt. But at the same time, I knew that this was not only illegal, but more than what was good for one night. If I enjoyed it too much, I'd be floating on air the next few days, which would raise questions from anyone.  
  
"If you don't want to, it's all right," he said, picking up on my indecision. "I'm patient. If you want, I'll wait for you."  
  
I nodded, letting my breath go. Butch released me, letting me carefully down to the ground. I lay there, aware of the faint blush on my cheeks, using my arm as a pillow and looking up at him. I saw an expression cross his face that at the time I couldn't place, but now realize that must've been the same look I'd given him every time he looked so... pounceable... that it was hard to resist.  
  
I went back to the campsite that night and, I admit, enjoyed the pleasures of being physically human for a while, trying not to make too much noise. The next morning, Misty made a comment about my not coming back until late, and a joking remark about sneaking off into the woods to meet a secret lover. I responded through my alarm with a sarcastic "Oh yes, and he was so wonderful." She laughed, which meant she was really oblivious to the whole thing.  
  
In about a month, I turn 20. Butch and I have seen each other every so often, occaisionally getting a chance to talk or get close over the last few years. We decided that the day after my birthday we will suddenly disappear from the face of the planet, from our friends, our family, Team Rocket, everything. We'll move far away and take on new names and start over as a happy, young, homosexual couple, and keep our past between us.  
  
As long as the past never finds us. 


End file.
